Easton had a pediatrician appointment today - his two month well check. He weighed in at 11 pounds 15.5 ounces and was 23 inches tall - the doctor asked what I was fertilizing him with!! She said he looked great....except she was a little concerned with his head circumference. Based on his last measure, his head size had jumped significantly on the growth chart. She said that she wouldn't be as concerned about it if it wasn't for his spina bifida diagnosis. (Background - a sudden and significant change in head circumference could mean hydrocephalus which is increased fluid on the brain.....which worse case could mean he would need a shunt) The pediatrician said that she was not super concerned. She said that the increase could just be a growth spurt or could be that they didn't get a good measurement at his last appointment. She ended the appointment by saying...."Don't worry about it! Come back in a week and we will remeasure and if we need to we will do a repeat head ultrasound." To this mommies ears that is translated "Here is something for you to worry and obsess over for the next week and a 1/2......"Add to that now he has a fever - It's low grade, he was acting totally fine and it's likely from the vaccines that he had today but a fever still makes mommy's nervous :(
Then there is the current conversation that Stephen is having with my dad....about the fact that our air conditioner is not working......Thank God that my dad does this for a living but still not really what I want to be going on when I have not been working for 6 months....buying parts for our air conditioner is not really how I want to spend what little is in the bank account right now.
Then there is the fact that Easton has doctors appointments at the crack of stinking dawn 3 days this week - which means I have to get up an hour before the crack of stinking dawn to make sure I am presentable and Easton is fed....When you are not sleeping through the night, getting up an hour before the crack of stinking dawn is even less fun than normal. Plus, like I have mentioned in previous posts, no mom wants to have to take her baby boy (or girl for that matter) to specialists appointments!!
Then there are lots of emotions and likely some hormones about going back to work....I know that God did not create me to be a stay at home mom - I am a better mom when I am working. I love my job, I love what I do but I'm frankly just not ready to go back.....and if I can't find the time or the energy to clean the house, cook dinner, run errands now....how on EARTH am I going to find the time or energy when I add a full time job to my plate??
Then, my babysitter is sick (bless her heart) so now we pray that she feels better and that no one in my family gets it.....Not sure I can go back to work only to take a sick day.....That would probably be a really bad start.....
All I want is chocolate or ice cream or homemade chocolate chip cookies....but I am desperately trying to get rid of this baby weight (and when I say baby weight, I mean that which is left from Easton....and then that which is also left from the twins, WHO ARE THREE) Frankly, carrots or grapes DO NOT have the same affect on a woman's psyche as chocolate!!
So, now I go to bed, trying to rest in the promise that God will not give me more than I can handle and hoping that tomorrow is a better day......