For those of you that know me well, you know that I do have a very small tendency to be a bit of a control freak - and yes, in my head I know that I am actually only 22 weeks pregnant and that all of our friends and family are totally capable of painting a room or moving furniture but for reasons that I cannot seem to verbalize and at the risk of sounding like a 2 year old "I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF!"
It probably is a huge blessing (at least for my sanity) that this is another boy because working on the nursery hasn't been a huge stressor for me (so far - no promises of what lies ahead in the future weeks). We are using the same crib, same bedding, same dresser etc and so therefore I'm not really all too worried about getting that set up. However, everything else in the house is another story! Suddenly it seems totally essential that every closet be cleaned out, all rooms be painted and everything be "in it's place" before I am out of commission.
We had a garage sale this past Saturday - another one of my crazy "it has to be done before surgery because we were planning to do it in October and can't put it off any longer" ideas. After a late night of prepping on Friday and a very early morning on Saturday we were off and running. Garage sales always make me laugh...especially when a guy pulls up 45 minutes before the garage sale is even supposed to start and gets annoyed with me when everything is not yet out for display. Dude! I have 45 minutes - that's why I said the sale started at 8 and not 7!! All in all, it was a success and several hundred dollars later I had another thing to cross off my to do list :)
Since Saturday morning we have finished cleaning out the office closet and painted - which was originally set to be the guest room/office/craft space. Naturally because I enjoy stress...I have now changed my mind, moved everything out of said closet into the closet in the next room, picked out yet another paint color, painted and set up a guest room/office/craft space in that room and now plan to make the original room the baby's room....phew! Of course this little adventure also includes a trip to several furniture stores, 2 targets, a craig's list purchase, several planned pinterest projects and some Coldstone icecream all in one night! (Thanks for being my partner in crime Cathy!!) I'll have to post pictures this weekend (after I have a few more hours to get things really in their place :)
So, after a few really late nights of nesting -naturally dragging Stephen along with me on my nesting journey (he has been such a good sport) here we sit in our hotel in Nashville across the street from the hospital. I am amazed at the difference between talking about going to Nashville for a consultation and actually being in Nashville. Suddenly in the last 12 hours things have gotten really really real! I know there are parts of me (I won't speak for Stephen but I bet it's the same) that have started to deal with all that is happening. I can say and mean that it is very obvious that this precious little boy was picked just for us and based on just the amazing things we have seen in the last few weeks I know without a doubt that God has big plans for this boy!! But....After today, it is very clear to me that I still have a whole lot of "dealing with it" to go! The crazy fast nature of this entire situation has probably been helpful for me - in some ways. I work better under pressure and have easily been able to move into a natural survival mode. I have made more phone calls, had more appointments and generally gotten more done in the last two weeks than I have in the 4 months prior!! On the other hand, things have been happening so fast that there have been very few minutes where I have found myself still enough to really grasp what is happening. But when they come, it's never when I expect it - in the car listening to the radio has probably been the most common one. There are so many songs that I feel like God plays on KLove, especially in the morning, just for me!!
I am sure we will have many more details to share after tomorrow but this is what we know now:
-I had an appointment with my regular OB today - she reassured me that she agrees that this is the best option for this little guy. She told me she was excited that we decided to go this route based on the research she has seen and promised she would be the one who delivered me (as long as I don't go into labor over spring break) - which is what I wanted so was good news!! She also gave me her email address and wants me to keep her posted - such a sweet gesture and one that made me feel a little extra special today!
-Today was my last day of work.....for 6 months!! Goodness that is scary to type!! I still have some paperwork to do so I am not totally home free yet but I made sure my desk was in order (and filled up my candy drawer for all my co-workers) before I left today!
-Tomorrow we report for consultation day at 8:00 (9:00 Jacksonville time). As far as I understand we are meeting with 4 billion doctors tomorrow who have to make sure we know what we are getting into and if they haven't scared the crud out of us by the end of the day, our Tuesday surgery day becomes official!
God has been such a huge part of every tiny detail falling into place over the last few weeks and I know He is certainly not going anywhere now!! If I'm honest....I'm am exhausted, but part of me doesn't want to close my eyes tonight because until tomorrow, none of this has to be real...But, I know I need my rest so I can be truly present tomorrow. Lots of prayers please - it is going to be a really long, stressful, emotional day full of a TON of information, much of which may be hard to hear. Pray that baby and I "pass" all of the final tests and that the end result is officially signing paperwork to schedule surgery for next Tuesday (which I assure you will bring lots more emotions!!)
PS - all you Floridians, if the weather up here is coming our way...get those winter coats ready!! It's FREEZING up here!!
One last thing - and yes, I may be putting off bed time just a little more - but I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone! Stephen and I have been so humbled by the enormous out pouring of love that we have felt every step of this journey already! We have amazing family and friends that rallied around us both which has provided such strength and peace! A special thanks to everyone at Christ's Church Academy - you guys are a blessing!! I promise to enjoy a delicious grande something tomorrow morning :) And a special thanks to Carly Brandvold for curbside pick up at the airport today and for picking a yummy local place for dinner tonight!!
Ok, I promise this is it....
Psalm 119 : 76
Let, I pray you, Your merciful kindness and steadfast love be for my comfort, according to Your promise to Your servant
(Thanks V.J. - Just what I needed today!!)