Overall things are continuing to go well. Though this is far from the pregnancy I had planned months ago, continuing to get good reports from the doctors at our weekly check ups always add a little sunshine to an at times dreary pregnancy.
Our doctors appointment both last week and this week went well. Little man is continuing to grow as he should. Last week they estimated he was about 3 pounds and 6 ounces (which is big for his gestational age). His ventricle size is stable which is awesome and a huge blessing and answer to prayer. He continues to be a busy little guy and we have continued to see leg movement on each ultrasound which makes this physical therapist mommy's heart happy!! So for now, it's a waiting game!!
I find myself, during the countless hours I spend sitting sitting thinking about what the next years will bring. What will this little guy be able to do?? What will he struggle with?? How is our dynamic as a family going to change - no only with the addition of another little boy but with the more complex addition of a little boy with special needs. To be honest I try to not spend too much time in that place because I find myself worrying and I know that is not what the Lord wants for me right now...He has promised to take care of tomorrow....but sometimes us mommies just can't seem to help it.....
Bedrest has been....interesting. A blessing in some ways actually. It has allowed me time that I never would have had. Time to rest. Time to sit and play Candy Land, Memory, PlayDough etc with the boys - where in another time in my life I feel like I would have been busy juggling working full time, cooking dinner, cleaning toilets and trying to keep life in order. I've also had time for some great conversations - with lots of different people. It's allowed some special lunch dates with good friends. It has allowed me to work on some projects that have been on this mommy's "to do" list for years but have never seemed to make it to the top. I'm working on the baby book for the twins (yes, the ones that are 3!!), I've done some sewing, read some books etc. At the same time, bedrest is also teaching me a very hard lesson about letting people help - that's been the toughest part for me....I like to be the helper not the helpee. I like to be the one taking the meals - not the one receiving them. I like to be the one busy with last minute party preparations, not the one sitting down telling various "helpers" which bowl I want the chips in.. It's been HARD and HUMBLING!!
Bedrest had made me realize something that I think I always knew but would have never been able to put into words - I enjoy the slower paced life....to some extent. I do miss the busy some of the time. I miss the "adventures" to Publix with the boys. I miss Hobby Lobby!! I feel like my brain is turning to mush and that I might forget how to be a physical therapist when this is all over but.....I have learned that I really LOVE Sunday afternoons just like this....sitting outside on the back patio watching the kids play (just wishing I could be out there with them!!)
I've already said that I want things to change some after this adventure called bedrest is over. I want to make the time to have these kind of days. I long to go camping in our new camper. I desperately want to spend a special day at Disney World watching the kids enjoy every step. I want to get Mason in soccer - that boy can dribble a ball like he has been doing it for years!! I want beach days and zoo days. Game nights and movie nights. I really am looking forward to getting my freedom back - To being able to jump in the car with the kids and go for an adventure but I really am hoping I'll be able to do better about making time for the stuff that's really important - before it's too late because working on these baby books has also made me realize how fast time really does pass!!
6 1/2 more weeks to go!! I've got lots of projects that I still want to work on and/or finish!! One near the top of the list should probably be the nursery for this little guy who will be here before we know it.....I just keep saying that I'll get around to it :) I figure that Stephen and I didn't even have a house at this stage when I was pregnant with the twins so we are already way ahead of the game!! I continue to say thank you to everyone of you - We have so many people praying for us, encouraging us, bringing us dinner, taking the kids for the afternoon, offering to pick stuff up at the store for us - you all have been amazing!! We absolutely could NOT have done it without you!! Onward we march - well they march....I sit and watch :) I can't wait to meet this little guy who has made such a huge impact on so many people already....and I can't wait to finally share his name :) I'm tired of calling him one of many various of pet names that I have given him!!
We hope you all have enjoyed this beautiful Sunday as much as we have - Until next time....
Love and hugs!!